Surprise
by Corelli Sonatas
Summary: "For one priceless minute of her life, there was only grief. And it comforted her to feel it." Leia realizes her sadness after the destruction of Alderaan. Set post-ANH.


**_Dedicated to the late Carrie Fisher._**

* * *

 _There's still time, there's still time…_

Just how long it would take for them to return from their mission on Gamoor, Leia hadn't the faintest clue. She was in the middle of a two-week leave of absence: on behalf of supposed "grief," with which the Rebellion had branded her and had temporarily  
sent her away.

Her fingers rubbed the computer screen to pass the time. It showed a map of the galaxy, and Leia's eyes traveled past the Outer Rim, up the Corellian Run, and finally through the empty space in which Alderaan had once resided. It still hurt, she tried  
to convince herself. Taking a break from running the Rebel Alliance's operations had allowed her to realize precisely how much she had lost – within seconds – a standard month ago.

Which was secretly why Leia ached to see Luke and Han safely return to Yavin 4. No one was aware of her presence in the cabin on the far side of the Rebel base. There was talk of moving the headquarters to another planet in due time, since the Empire  
had tracked their location during the operation to destroy the Death Star. _I hate the idea of a transference,_ she thought. _All this change –_

An announcement from the intercom startled the young princess from her musing. "Hangar all clear. Arrival in two minutes."

Those were the longest two minutes of Leia's life, but the fleet did finally land. Swarms of pilots, droids, and attendants traversed the hangar, many in joyous conversation about their victory. It was difficult for Leia not to beam upon witnessing the  
triumphant return of her fleet. Familiar faces flooded into the strategy room behind her; all the while she waited nervously for Luke and Han.

But they never came.

…

"How do you know?"

"It'll be fine," Han was assuring Luke, albeit rather testily. _The kid doesn't trust me._

"But how do you know she didn't expect us at the hangar with everyone else?" Luke pressed. His eyes were multitasking: one was checking their waypoint – Yavin 4 was fast approaching – and the other was glancing at Han, who hadn't quite figured out whether  
he liked the ship that the Alliance had lent him for the mission. Solo cursed as he fiddled with the controls at the back of the cockpit. Luke rolled his eyes. "Han."

"She'll be happily surprised, trust me." But Han was not at all convinced by his artificial confidence, and so he finally gave up fighting the ship's controls. "Let's just get this thing on the ground," he told his copilot.

…

Not five minutes following the arrival of the rebels on Yavin 4, Leia stormed into Jan Dodonna's office at the far end of the hangar. Her face was red with both exhaustion and fury, the latter of which intimidated Dodonna a little. "General," she began.

"Princess Leia, I didn't – weren't you on leave? Have we not signed you in –"

"What concerns me is that no one has made the observation that two of our own did not return from the mission on Gamoor. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo."

"Does the report confirm their absence?"

"That shouldn't be necessary, considering that I watched every single team return, except for them," Leia answered. Sweat formed on her forehead and in the palms of her hands; it was not a positive sign that General Dodonna had not yet read the report  
on the returned mission.

At last Dodonna averted his gaze from the Princess. "Let me send for the report, Your Highness, and I will get a signal out to Captain Solo's comlink. What's his division number?"

Leia shook her head. "I don't know. But this error of miscommunication between mission squadron and its general worries me. Should I rescind my leave of absence to stay and help?"

"Goodness, no," interjected Dodonna immediately. His countenance turned gentle and compassionate. "Forgive me, Princess Leia. This should not be a concern of yours, and so I will devote my entire attention to locating Captain Solo and Luke. When we've  
reached them and know of their whereabouts, I will contact you personally."

"Thank you, General Dodonna," Leia acknowledged her commander, "but that won't be necessary. I'd like to withdraw from my leave and attend to this matter." She quickly bowed her head and announced, "If you'll excuse me."

"Princess Leia?"

The woman was halfway down the hallway when he called to her. Every part of her ached to hurry back to the opposite side of the hangar, to acquire those records. _There isn't any time,_ she thought. But her obedience and good manners got the best  
of her, and she turned around. Dodonna was modeling a fake yet well-intentioned smile.

"A happy Winter Fete to you."

…

Winter Fete was usually a holiday spent with her adoptive parents on Alderaan. In her early years, Leia and her father and mother would begin the festivities on the first day of the week by welcoming commoners into their palace for a collective winter  
feast. After all the children had finished eating, the young Princess would lead them into the palace gardens, where chilly draughts would accompany snowball fights and laughter. The evening commenced with readings from the royal family's favorite  
poetry, while all the commoners they could fit into the palace listened huddled together and with their warm beverages. The remainder of the week meant a vacation to Coruscant, where citizens held the celebrations especially dearly.

This year was already starkly different.

Hours previously, Leia had been unsuccessful in connecting with Han and Luke, and neither had the scanners been able to detect a signal from their ship. "They might have abandoned the fleet to pursue other wants," one rebel had reassured her multiple  
times. Leia had not been convinced.

Which was why the Princess had started to pack for Gamoor: or, at least, she had started to pack for something. The night was still fresh, and Leia could taste Winter Fete in the air. Everything outside on Yavin 4 felt just as it had always been on that  
special night of the celebrated week, but inside her temporary commander's-cabin (with which General Dodonna had generously provided her), such was not the case. Leia had that anxious pit of sorrow deep in her stomach, and every time she reminded  
herself that she was alone and without word from her only dear friends in the galaxy, her heart sunk a little further.

 _What if I don't find them?_ she wondered, hesitating to pack the first set of clothing. Her bag was depressingly empty, but the more the Princess wondered why, the further her eyes stung. _I own hardly anything. The Alliance is my life. No more Alderaan, no more mother and father and Winter Fete –_

"Er, excuse me, Your Highness?"

A knock followed by this assertion almost made Leia scream out of fright. The messenger continued: "They need you in the strategy room. It's urgent."

 _They?_

Not a single step in her long strides came out of hopefulness that the rebels had located her friends. Good news was nonexistent in the young woman's battle-scarred mind: any minute flashback to being tortured on the Death Star would reaffirm that. Leia  
doubted Dodonna was even a member of this "they" who obviously required her presence. Then there was Winter Fete; her memory of the holiday only struck in her pessimism and a sour sarcasm as she trudged through the snow to the hangar. _Of course my holiday is interrupted, just now as I've withdrawn my leave of absence._

When at long last she arrived, however, she stumbled upon a strategy room empty except for a tiny light that illuminated a table at the center of the amphitheater-style room. Due to darkness, Leia strained her eyes to make out what else was sitting on  
the table. Finally she realized that there were three ceramic drinking-glasses, whose steam permeated the air with a familiar holiday scent. Adjacent to each drink was a plate of various fruits; Leia suddenly realized that she could identify each  
kind. _Aren't those fruits only found on Alderaan?_

"Happy Winter Fete."

Spinning around about as rapidly as the sound waves had found her ears, Leia saw Han and Luke standing at the doorway. Both were grinning until they noticed the appalled expression on the Princess' face.

"When…when did you get here?"

"Sorry if we startled you, Princess. It was the kid's idea not to have any other lights on." Han proceeded toward Leia, whose entire body was a statue. Luke had understood her initial question and corrected the Corellian.

"She wants to know when we landed on Yavin 4."

"Oh," Solo muttered, cheerful energy now completely gone. When the Princess continued her silence, he took the defensive. "We wanted to surprise you."

"So that I'd make a fool of myself in questioning the reliability of the Alliance?" Leia countered, in a heightened tone of voice. "What was the point of it? How did you know I would be here? Either of you?" Neither Luke nor Han had a prepared apology,  
so the Princess decided to leave.

"Wait."

Han caught her arm on her way out the door; Leia felt Luke's attentive gaze upon her now as she stopped in her tracks and allowed Solo to reel her back inside. The light at the other end of the room seemed dimmer than before. "Last chance to justify yourselves,"  
she whispered coolly.

"We remembered what you said about how this year's Winter Fete would be different," Luke admitted. "Since we thought you'd come to celebrate here at headquarters, we wanted to surprise you with this." He gestured toward the table with the drinks and the  
food. No more steam escaped from the drinks, which Leia sadly realized were now room-temperature. _All this time I've wasted berating them. My friends, of all people –_

"Luke mentioned how you had a tradition when you were young," Han was conveying. But Leia's hearing was too filled with ringing to hear; her eyes were too bleary with tears to notice her friend's moving lips. All she could do at this moment was exactly  
that for which the Alliance had recommended a leave of absence.

Grieve.

There was no Han or Luke beside her, there was no strategy room; not even was there light, or vision, or sound.

For one priceless minute of her life, there was only grief. And it comforted her to feel it.

She needed to feel it.

Because as soon as she returned to the light – to the embraces Han and Luke so willingly offered her, to the table where she wiped away tears and feasted on what was left of Alderaan and of her past – it was over. There were still the effects of the grief,  
but no longer was there that sinking feeling in her stomach. Gone was the fear of her many losses; gone were the empty questions she had asked herself earlier about what her life would be from this point forward.

"Thank you," she cried into Han's chest, and into Luke's shoulder. It was not solely a thank-you for their attempts at surprising her with a holiday tradition, neither was it chiefly meant to express how much she cherished their company at this time.  
Those were contributing factors, of course, but Leia knew why she had needed to thank them.

Because as far as she knew, for the present time, they were her friends. And she was theirs.

Nothing, Leia promised, would ruin what time they most certainly had together right now.

* * *

 **THE END**


End file.
